Saturday, August 24, 2002

How to kill the mood

Everyone knows that when you have a baby, it is very likely to significantly alter your sex life. Well, in addition to the sleepless nights, and everything else, I found a new reason. When you finally get the baby to bed at a reasonable time, and have a few moments to spare with your spouse, be sure to clear the area of baby toys. Nothing ruins the mood like hearing A loud collection of children's sons like "Twinkle Twinkle Little star" and "the Farmer in the Dell" just because your partner accidentally hit a baby toy while in the throes of passion. I suppose thats why they use a different type of music in Porn soundtracks.

Google searches:

I'm the Number 2 result when someone searches for trojan + Hooker. If I had knwon there was a Trojan out there sharing my last name, I suppose i would have picked a different name. 25 when someone searches for "Al Qaeda website" I have no idea why, but looking at my referral logs is the most interesting part of running a blog. It sounds strange, until you do it. Update: Number 8 for "potato gun" accident Number 1 for msn messenger nickname generator

Friday, August 23, 2002

The Problem is Lack of Understanding

Every now and then, I stumble across a piece of writing so good that I immediately bookmark the site, having only read one item. This is one of those Insta-bookmark pieces. A brief snippet:
Some intolerant people might point out that those in opressed cultures have comitted horrible acts against each other and us. Those aren't important, because I can name, from memory, any number of offenses made by Western cultures on oppressed groups hundreds of years ago. Especially the United States. I have memorized thousands of potential or historical infractions made by the United States, and although they might not be as serious or credible as others made in related time periods or situations, they are more important to memorize because they were or could have been made by the United States.
Thanks to Vodkapundit for the link.

Double Standards are twice as good!

Bigwig at Siflay Hraka has an interesting post, where someone on the extreme left is ignored after saying something that someone on the extreme right would be crucified for. Of course, this is par for the course. Take a look at Communism Vs. Nazism. Both Totalitarian ideologies, one on the extreme left, the other on the extreme right. Communism is Winked at by the left, while Nazism is denounced by both sides. Andrew Stuttaford had a great piece that illustrates the point perfectly.

Thursday, August 22, 2002

More Tigger Stuff

Over at Silflay Hraka, Bigwig and I had a brief Pooh-related discussion in his comments section. In a followup post, he managed to make a bloggeriffic parody of the Tigger song.
The wonderful thing about bloggers. Is bloggers are wonderful things. They make the journalists blubber. Their bottoms are really big things. They announce, denounce, pronounce, renounce, It's fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! But the most wonderful thing about bloggers Is that we have just begun! The wonderful thing about bloggers, Is bloggers are wonderful chaps. They're loaded with vim and with vigor. They love to shoot off their yaps. They announce, denounce, pronounce, renounce, It's fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! But the most wonderful thing about bloggers Is I'm the only one. Bloggers are wonderful fellahs. Bloggers are awfully sweet. Everyone else's is jealous. And thats why I repeat. The wonderful thing about bloggers Is bloggers are wonderful things.. They make the journalists blubber Their bottoms are really big things. They announce, denounce, pronounce, renounce, It's fun, fun, fun, fun, fun! But the most wonderful thing about bloggers Is that we have just begun! Yes, Weeeeeeeeee have just begun! (Grrrrrr...)
Only one problem... If he is the "only one", as the tigger song goes, then who would he link to? Of course, as far as the "What Pooh character would you be" aspect of his post goes, I think my Tigger Credentials are well established. Not too many people actually have a reference in Wired to their tiggerness. (Strange... Google doesn't pull up that wired page on a search of my old college email address, but it did a few weeks back when I made the tigger ascii art post.) Update: Bigwig updated the Tigger song to remove the "I'm the only only one!" reference. If only "Big Media" was that fast to correct themself when someone points out an error.

Isn't it someone else's turn to be Designated Driver?

John Hawkins at Right Wing News has a great piece about why the US is so sick of babysitting the rest of the world.
So how the hell did we end up with our fingers in every bowl of soup from Bahrain to Brazil? It's because we're not content to sit around on our behinds while the entire planet collapses without us. If we actually did kick back in our hammocks for a ten-year rest the Middle East would explode, Taiwan would get swallowed by China and France and Germany would probably be at each other's throats again. Hell, if we took twenty years off it wouldn't surprise me to look at a map and see nothing but a giant swath of China red covering all of Europe, skulls & crossbones covering all of Africa, and nothing but a green patch with the words 'Forbidden Zone' where the Middle East used to be. We're the only thing keeping the planet from reverting back to an early 1800's style plunder, war, and rampage philosophy. If you want put it in perspective, it's like we're the guy who ended up being the designated driver for the planet. Sure we'd love to sit back and drink ourselves into a stupor with the rest of the globe but we're responsible for getting as many people home safe and sound as possible. Every so often while we're sitting around wishing we could kill a few beers like the rest of the planet, a sloppy drunk, drooling, Europe comes over to where we're sitting. Then they take another swig of Vodka straight out of the bottle and tell us not to worry about a thing because they'll drive everyone home in their 'international law' van. But we know if we go ahead and drink up that we'll just get a call at 4 am asking us to bring our tow truck and the 'jaws of life' to clean up the bloody mess on dead man's curve. That's the burden of being an American.
Link via Midwest Conservative Journal

Wednesday, August 21, 2002

Mail Call!

Lets take a look brutally Fisk at one of the letters I recently recieved from an adoring fan some idiot.
Run of the mill racist white bread.
For starters, He calls manages to call me a racist, while simultaneously using a racist slur. This takes some serious balls. This would be akin to me calling someone a "Bigoted Queer" or a "Closed-minded Spear-chucker" (Not that I would normally use those terms, this is just illustrating a point here...) I would make a reference to Pots and Kettles, but I fear this would be intentionally misinterpreted as a racist statement.
I say that, because I visited this wacko site called "trojan horseshoes."
Wacko? How so?
You were talking real ill about one the smartest men you'll ever hear about, my man Cornell West.
You think Cornell West is one of the smartest people around, and you call ME a wacko? Cornell West, the same man who calls for reparations, and was on a presidential campaign for Al Sharpton. The same person who two days after september 11th, took the opportunity of 3000 dead to demagogue about how Blacks suffer from 'institutional forms of terrorism" and used the opportunity of the september 11th dead to launch another tirade demanding reparations. He claims that Christianity was used as a ploy to "civilize" and "disempower" blacks. Boy, I bet Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. would love to hear that one, wouldn't he? Yes, I feel quite justified in "talking real ill" about him. And for the record, Yes, I still think casting him in the two upcoming sequels to "Matrix" would be a stupid idea.
I'm not even going start on Mumia.
Well, I wish somebody would. Preferably with a handgun, firing multiple shots at close range... the same way he killed Officer Daniel Faulkner.
With all the things Cornell's has done,written, and accomplished what gives you the gall to even mention his name.
Well, perhaps the fear they will ruin a perfectly good science fiction movie franchise by throwing in his idiocy.
Next time you use his name, use it with respect.
Tough to show respect to someone who campaigns for reparations, Racists and Anti-semites like Louis Farrakhan and Al Sharpton, and cop-killers like Mumia Abu-Jamal.
Shame on you.
If I were you, I'd be fairly ashamed of sending a hate-filled letter like this to someone. In fact, I'll leave off your name, so you won't be publically embarassed. Update: Is it some sort of sign that my first email about the site is Hate-mail? Or are the stupid ones just the first to speak up?

Can you buy Viagra by the case?

A 72 year old man has a clause in his will that gives $244,000 to any woman who gives him an orgasm and a heart attack, in that order. Link via Improved Clinch

I'm the Top ranked site in Google!

Well, almost. At least I'm the first result returned by google if you do a search for "a cut-out of John Wayne showed up and a jingoist kind of thing". I suppose he was searching for the Susan Sarandon quote I mentioned in this post.

Is this what we have to look forward to from the SAT?

Peter Cuthbertson has a chilling story about how college entrance essays in the UK are being judged not for their content and writing ability, but for the political views expressed within. THis is very disturbing, especially considering that the SAT is planning an essay component, that could very well be graded just as subjectively. Link via The Corner.

Tuesday, August 20, 2002

Administration split on invasion plans

Transterrestrial Musings has a in depth look at how the administration is divided on whether or not to take invade.

Colonel Gadaffi enters, wins drag queen competition

And doesn't he look cute in his purple blouse, with matching hat. Looks like he is trying to dress like THE queen, rather than a drag queen. According to a story Gadaffi will be leading the United Nations Commission on Human Rights. Remind me again why we should take the UN seriously? What's next? Putting Cuba and Saudi Arabia on the UN Human Rights Commission? Oh... They already are.

Sunday, August 18, 2002

Al Qaeda, Chemical Warfare and Rover

Little Green Footballs has an interesting post about some CNN video footage of Al-Qaeda testing some sort of chemical weapons tests on dogs. Does this mean that we can count on PETA's support for the war on terror? Think they will even bother making a single announcement about it? Of course not. As usual, the left excuses or ignores any horrifying acts done by those who hate America and/or western civilization. They have a very selective sense of outrage. If it was the US military doing things like this, there would be PETA protests at every military base. (well, at least the ones where the media was....)

Quiz time!

You are Stupendous Man!
You are simply amazing, whether you are battling your arch-nemesis Mom Lady, the nefarious Babysitter Girl, or the fiendish Annoying Girl. And you have absolutely nothing to do with mild-mannered Calvin.
Take the What Calvin are You? Quiz by!