Could the environmentalists please stay out of my bedroom?

Ipse Dixit has a link to a Greenpeace article that will tell us how to have environmentally safe sex.

Are you wondering what more you can do to help the planet? You take your bike to work, eat organic, but want to do more.

Well, actually I drive a pickup truck and eat fast food, but I'll go along with you for discussion's sake.

At long last we have looked into one of humanity’s favourite pastimes and uncovered the passion that can make a difference for our environment. You can be a bomb in bed without nuking the planet.

Frankly, I never knew that having sex was a danger to the environment. Of course, everything else I do is claimed to be a cause for either cancer or pollution, I'm surprised they are just getting around to finishing up their list.

1. Turn off the lights. We all have to do our part to stop climate change, energy reduction and energy efficiency are a important part of changing our energy culture. If you want to see your partner, or what you are doing, have sex during the day.

Well, from their point of view, I can understand this. I mean, honestly... Have you seen the typical Hippies who would listen to Greenpeace? I'd probably want to turn off the lights too if I were in their place. Hmm. I wonder how much electricity the Greenpeace webservers use anyway...

2. Passion for fruit? If you like to use produce to get the blood boiling, make sure it is GE-free. There have not been enough studies on genetically engineered foods to know what the effects on our diets will be, let alone the affects of using it for more intimate activities.

And more importantly, make sure that you pressure third world governments to turn down donations of Genetically Modified corn Even if it means starving several thousand people.

3.Oysters and other shellfish can be potent aphrodisiacs, but our oceans are being destroyed at an unprecedented rate - we need to stop plundering for pleasure. Instead you can support sustainable community-based operations in the Amazon rainforest choosing from two popular and plentiful herbal and fruit drinks, guaraná and caju, for more than just a clean conscious.

I personally prefer ground Tiger Bone and Rhino Horn.

4. Is your yard a safe place to do the deed? Forget about the nosy neighbours, are you using pesticides and chemical fertilisers on your lawn and garden? Would you really want to set your bare bottom on weed killer? Make the switch to natural fertilisers and pest management, and take a roll in the hay.

Yeah, having to spray fertilizer and weedkiller all the time was such a drag, I just paved the whole thing. But let me warn you, asphalt burn is much worse than rugburn.

5. Forget the fossil fuel based lubricants like petroleum jelly! Esso's screwing the planet, but you don't have to.

Am I the only one that skips straight over petroleum jelly and uses good old WD-40? I say if it's good enough for the garage, Its good enough for the bedroom. (The same rule applies to Duct Tape.)

6. Have you got something more than a good time up your sleeve. Could it be polyvinyl chloride? Ditch the PVC and vinyl accessories for your playtime. The production of PVC creates and releases one of the most toxic chemicals - dioxin. You also don’t want to be sucking on that stuff. The use of PVC in young children’s toys has already been banned in many countries. Instead, opt for accessories made from natural substances like rubber or leather.

Well, Ipsedixit (Who I originally got the link from) pointed out the fact that Eco-Gurus Ben and Jerry sell icecream chock-full of Dioxin all day long, and it doesn't seem to hurt their customers much at all. And aren't Rubber Tree plantations and Use of Animal products(leather) bad for the environment? PETA would be pissed at you for suggesting the use of leather.

7. Helping the planet can be an arousing activity. Soap up together in the shower or bath to save water and create passion for more than the environment. More than one billion people do not have access to clean water, it is a luxury, and should definitely be shared with a friend.

In a shower with soemone else, I'd be willing to bet that people will be likely to stay in there longer, using more water than two separate showers.

8. Ok, I’m not sure what you would use them for, never done so myself, ahem, but if you wanted some paddles for something other than rowing, please, for god’s sake, make sure they are made from sustainably harvested timber. Look for timber, paddles, whatever, certified by the only internationally recognised ecological forest certification organisation, the Forest Stewardship Council, or FSC.

Actually, I use a paddle made of old-growth lumber from the Pacific Northwest. Just think, a Spotted Owl gave up its home just for my paddle.

9. Role playing games can be fun as long as both partners are consenting and comfortable with the boundaries. So if you and your partner want to dress up and play "George Bush and Corporate America at the Earth Summit" or other S&M style games, agree on what's permissible and what's not up front. And remember that games - like fantasies - are not real life.

Why would we want to play a game like that? The Bush administration basically said a Giant F*** You to the envirodoodles at the earth summit, and Neither my wife or I like to start argments like that between each other.

10. Make love, not war.

Well, War would be one way to solve that pesky Overpopulation Crisis you environmentalists are always whining about. I'm pretty sure that having a lot of sex is probably likely to add a few more people. But then, nobody ever accused the environmentalists of being logical OR consistent.

However unlikely it is...

...there is at least a small statistical chance that some of you don't read Lileks Bleats every day. Even so, You can't miss this one.

I’ve been reading reactions to the President’s UN speech, and I’m amused at how people don’t seem to get it. Oh, now he’s being a multilateralist? Now he believes in the UN? No. That speech was the equivalent of that fabled kung-fu move that removes your opponent's heart and shows it to you, just before you crumple. It’s of a piece with the administration’s behavior since 9/11: Let all the carpers and obstructionists gather on the tip of the thinnest branch, then show up with a saw and announce they have five minutes to come hug the trunk, which incidentally is covered with sap and stinging ants. It was sheer malicious brilliance to cast the entire case in terms of UN resolutions, because it mean the UN had to chose: either those resolutions mean something, or the UN means nothing. Why, it's almost as if the UN painted itself into a corner - and woke up to find this rude simple cowboy holding the brush. How the hell did he do that?

The United States of Mars?

Instapundit gives a good reason for letting private enterprise explore/colonize mars.

Aaaahhhh!!!

What do you get when you combine Swamp Thing, Godzilla, and some mood music? Kudzilla! Link via Fark.

Iraq is not a threat

After all, even if they were developing nuclear weapons, (John Ritter says they are. Wait, then he says they aren't.) We are obviously out of range of their missiles, right?. What's the worst that could happen? Update: Asparagirl has more information on the nuclear cargo ship..

And they said a vote for Nader was a wasted vote!

It appears that Cynthia McKinney may be running for president on the Green party ticket. You know, the same wacko who accused Bush of plotting the September 11th attacks, the same wacko who snuggled up to Saudi princes after Giuliani criticized their statements about how the US deserved terrorist attacks, the same one who constantly blames everything on a jewish conspiracy against her... Yep, She wants to be President.

Prior Knowledge of Sept. 11

I'm not sure what to think about this, but I do think it might be worth additional investigation by some law enforcement personnel. Prior Knowledge of Sept. 11 Not Just Urban Legend

"What are you looking at?" asked the schoolteacher as she approached one of her freshman students. The boy, a young Palestinian, seemed captivated as he stared out the window across Brooklyn toward the lower downtown area of Manhattan. "Do you see those two buildings?" he asked while pointing toward the World Trade Center. "They won't be standing there next week." It was noon, Sept. 6, 2001. Antoinette DiLorenzo didn't take her student's comment all too seriously. Of course the twin towers would be there next week, she assured him. The student shook his head and reiterated his prediction until his 15-year old brother, a sophomore, elbowed him and told him to be quiet. "He's just kidding," the older boy said politely. Five days later at 8:45 a.m., DiLorenzo heard a loud explosion from the north. Thunderstruck, she turned to the window and eventually watched both towers collapse into shattered glass and crumbled steel.

Link viaStuart Buck.

Who saw this one coming?

Democrats to Blame Florida Voting problems on GOP Keep in mind, This isn't the 2000 election. Nope, this is for the 2002 Election. Specifically, the Democratic primary of the 2002 election. Run by Democrats, in Primarily Democrat-majority counties. But sure, Blame it on Jeb Bush. That makes jsut perfect sense. Well, more sense than their idea that we can stop terrorism by asking the UN nicely.

Hurrah for the Second Amendment!

Iraq Says Will Repel Any Attack with Knives, Stones Maybe this is why it went so easily the first time, if they are having to use sticks and knives to defend themselves. Wow, those Kuwaitis must have been real wimps. Link via Possumblog.

Now this is something to make you sick

9/11 aid bill contains giant bonus for trial lawyers

Sacramento -- Saying that it was primarily a bill to help families of Sept. 11 victims, Gov. Gray Davis on Tuesday signed a sweeping change in California tort law backed by trial lawyers, some of his biggest contributors. In a bill signing ceremony, the Democratic governor focused on only four paragraphs of the seven-page bill that allows relatives of the terrorist attacks more time to file civil lawsuits. Davis did not mention that the bulk of the bill -- which extends from one year to two the filing period for all personal injury or wrongful death lawsuits in California -- is opposed by more than 80 companies and business groups. They say the measure will sharply increase their insurance and litigation costs.

Link via Overlawyered

Never forget

After Iraq...

I really hope we liberate These guys from the despotic rulers they are trapped under.

Now, with the first anniversary of 9/11 tragedy upon us, as [the Student Movement Coordination Committee for Democracy in Iran] expresses its sympathy to the families of the victims and survivors of that ungodly event, and the honorable nation of America; it invites all free spirited Iranians to honor the memory of the victims of that day by gathering and lighting a candle in front of the main entrance of the Tehran university and major public squares in Tehran, and the main squares in other cities and townships, from 6:00 PM till 9:00 PM, on Wednesday 11 September.

Now why can't we get the French or the Germans to support us like this?

Military Artwork?

Link via Vodkapundit.

Silence and Respect

I have been thinking of the proper way to handle what I say on the anniversary of the September 11th attacks. I had been tempted to do a few different things, and then I realized that I was neither eloquent or gifted enough to do the subject justice. Then I ran across Sasha Castel's Post about her plans to do the same thing. (Sorry, no permalink: Blogger archive bug strikes again) I am reminded of something Dave Barry mentioned in his column entitled On Hallowed Ground. He reminds us that in Gettysburg Cemetary, there is a sign at the entrance reading "SILENCE AND RESPECT". And that is probably the most appropriate tribute I can do on this page. I will be posting some more later today, but as for the 11th itself, I think I may just keep my mouth shut, go pray at church and spnd some time with my family. You can call it the "Moment of Silence" bandwagon I suppose. Whatever it is, I think I agree with Sasha.

Frankly, it would be beyond my abilities as a writer to put my feelings about 9/11 into words. So I won't even try. Starting tomorrow, this blog will observe a day of silence.

There is no military solution to terrorism?

This will be news to the Israelis, who have eliminated 98% of Hamas' Military wing. Link via LGF

Masters of bad PR

Well, It appears the Saudis have managed to do it again. After the whole "15 of the 19", and their promotion of hate-filled wahhabism around the world, you would think they had done enough to look bad in our eyes. Funding terrorists, etc. etc. So then, they went and bought themselves a PR campaign. It didn't work that well, but at least it showed a sign that they realized that perhaps they need to try and get on our good side. But then, It appears they didn't run this one by their PR firm... (link via Insignificant Thoughts.)

RIYADH, 10 September — Saudi Arabia has given the go-ahead to a big business team to visit Baghdad for the first time since the two countries broke ties over Iraq’s invasion of Kuwait 12 years ago, an official said yesterday. Major Saudi firms plan to take part in Baghdad’s main trade fair in November as the two countries expand trade ties, said Ibrahim Foudah, executive director of the Saudi Exports Centre. “We have received confirmed bookings from 45 Saudi firms to participate and we expect the number to reach at least 60 to 70 firms,” Foudah said. The Saudi products and services to be promoted in the fair include construction, food, pipeline and electrical goods, the official said. Iraqi officials in recent months have expressed hopes of normalized ties with Saudi Arabia. Both countries see growing commercial ties paving the way for resumption of diplomatic ties, diplomats say.

Just a hint for you. If you want to be on the US's good side, don't suddenly start cuddling up to a country which we are about to invade. Especially one which you begged us to come and protect you from a decade ago. We spent millions of dollars, and more importantly, US lives defending your pile of sand from the maniac running Iraq just over a decade ago. And now, when we are about to confront him again(Which we should have finished the first time!) You decide to go make friends with him?) I'm seriously starting to wonder why there wasn't a 4th country in the Axis of Evil.

Conspiracy time!

Over at Silflay Hraka, Bigwig posts a very intersting piece, with a theory about why France and Iraq are so interested in keeping the US out of Iraq. The core point is that it may uncover some wrongdoing by France and/or Germany, in relation to assisting Iraq's nuclear program. Toward the end of his post, he goes off into conspiracy wacko la-la land, with discussion of an eventual Arab/EU coalition to create a second superpower and challenge the US, but up until that point he seems like he might just be onto something.

Where can I buy one of these?

I'm getting very sick of the drought, and all the water restrictions, etc. associated with it. But it appears that the Russians have a solution.

A day after acrid smoke from forest and peat fires blanketed Moscow, a light rain Friday cleared the air — and the government claimed the credit. The Emergency Situations Ministry said it drew rain clouds to the smog-shrouded capital and created showers by switching on a cube-shaped piece of equipment, 3 feet on each side, that sits atop a ministry building in western Moscow.

A Must Read

From Vodka Pundit:

This next week will reveal much about whether the United States will remain a vital, important nation. Vital nations defend their citizens. Vital nations defend their borders. Vital nations crush their self-declared enemies. Important nations act with or without help from their friends. Important nations maintain a global reach. Important nations are feared, respected, and rarely trifled with. We can't go on letting barbarians kill our people. We can either wage and win this war in our enemies' lands and (eventually) hearts and minds, or we can simply defend ourselves at home. If we fight and win, we carry American values past our shores, and liberate trampled lands. If we retreat behind our borders and play defense, then we'll lose our American values -- freedom, privacy, trade -- in the attempt to make ourselves safe. As a nation, we could probably become safe and neutral as Switzerland -- just with a bigger, fascist Army, and strip searches to get into the Post Office. But as a people, we could never accept the retreat and humiliation. We can fight them there, or fight ourselves here. The choice is that stark. The outcomes are that drastic. It comes down to oppressive homeland security, or bashing the bad guys until they cry uncle. Will George W. Bush have what it takes to sell this war to Congress? Will Congress cut off the Executive -- and our futures -- at the knees? Will we kowtow to the sickly, hypocritical creatures who make up the United Nations Security Council? I don't know. Neither do you. You do know where I stand. I think you know the stakes. Over the next two days, you'll be tempted by the media to first wallow in national pity, then to "get closure" with the events of 9/11/2001. Don't wallow -- wallowing is the first step to surrender. Don't ask for closure with the attacks -- demand victory over our attackers. Spend the next two days writing your Congressman and your Senators. Send a letter of support to the White House and the State Department. Act. Speak. Lend some backbone to those who might need it in the coming days and weeks. It's that important.

Google Goodness

Number 7 in a google search for Redneck in Saudi. Sounds like a good action-adventure movie. I'm imagining some giant monster truck with a rebel flag and a Gun rack cresting a dune in the desert. Suddenly, you hear a Good rebel yell "YEEEEE-HAW!!!" as they gun the engine, headed for Riyahd, with a truck bed full of ammunition. Also, I'm the only result for "Hunger and September 11th"

Strange things with local elections...

Well, I found out that my neighborhood must be right on the line for NC house districts. If you aren't familiar with NC politics lately, lets just say that the 2000 redistricting turned into a major train wreck. Thus, we have the new, improved 2002 redistricting. Unfortunately, it appears that not all the kinks have been worked out yet. My next door neighbor on one side votes at the walkertown library precinct, and will be voting in the 94th NC house district. Same goes for the neigbor on the other side, and the one across the street. You would think that I would be registered to vote at the same precinct, right? Well, somehow, I don't. I vote at the Belews Creek fire station instead, about 6 miles away. And I'll be voting in the 66th NC house district, as will my wife. In the NC Board of Elections website, I went up and down my road, seeing where each person votes, and it appears to be split about 2/3 to the walkertown precinct, 1/3 to the Belews Creek Precinct, in no particular order at all. It looks like florida isn't the only place that doesn't know how to run an election. Update: It appears that two variant spellings of my Street are in their Database. One of them is with an E, the other uses an A. All of the people on the "A" street are in one precinct and NC house district, while the ones on the "E" street are in another precinct and NC house district.

Might makes right?

In discussing the impending war against Iraq, A left-leaning person I know used the argument: "And I suppose might makes right?" as an attempt to point out a flaw in the justification for invading Iraq. And I realized that this ends up being a central point in Leftist thought, the idea that "Might makes right" is wrong. Case in point, The US has the might to take out Saddam in Iraq. Their argument is that this might does not give us the right to do so. And I suppose I can agree with them on that, to that point. The ability to perform an action does not mean that this actions should be performed. I think both sides of the aisle can pretty much agree on that. The problem is that the left carries this a couple of steps further. Rather than "Might doesn't make right", they have gone onto the false converse statements "Might makes Wrong" and "Weakness makes Right". And when you get down to it, this explains a lot, from kneejerk "blame america" sentiments, to the victim culture in the US today. The left sees those who have power as inherently wrong, no matter what they do. Take for example: White Males, the US, Heterosexuals, Israel, Christianity, etc. etc. All of these groups (and many more) are considered as inherently flawed by the left. Not because they have misused any amount of power, but because simply because they have the power itself. Similarly, those viewed as powerless are never accused of being wrong by the left. For example... Palestenians, Racial minorities, any religions other than Christianity, Women, third world countries, etc. etc. are viewed with rose colored glasses. Palestenian bombers kill 12 in a pizza parlor, but we can't criticize them, because they are opposed by the powerful (and therefore evil) Israelis. A black mob beats Reginald Denny within an inch of his life, but that is understandable. Because the members of the black mob have no power, their actions are perfectly excusable. I know, there are probably some cases where this does not apply. But as a good rule of thumb, I think it applies to a large number of them. Just remember, the left assumes that "might makes wrong", and "weakness makes right". I wonder if that is why they seem to like the UN so much? When I think of impotent powerless organizations, the UN is always one of the first to come to mind.